Posted by: Postordinandy | June 4, 2012

From Despair To Where?

Disappointment festers within me

its tendrils reach far

strangling hope and happiness

giving seed to rage and despair.

Why are you so downcast, O my soul?

Have you forgotten the blessings

the fruit of your labour

the gifts you have received in plenty?

Focussed instead on the pain

I turn from the warmth of joy

to the familiar fabric of futility

convincing myself of its safety.

Why are you so downcast, O my soul?

Are your friends so hidden

your lover so bruised

your family so broken?

Habit encourages me back to the darkness

where I wait to be abandoned

left by those I drive away

my self-hatred a weapon against them.

Why are you so downcast, O my soul?

Has hope become an enemy

trust a traitor

peace an illusion?

I peek at reality with tear-stained eyes.

Willing myself out of the pit

trapped and muddied by history

self-imposed, received, fabricated and real.

Why are you so downcast, O my soul?

Has your God discarded you

is there no future with hope

no life after death?

The beast of my history fights

but will not be victorious

I turn my rage against it

and drive it from me

Why are you so downcast, O my soul?

Redemption is near

Resurrection at hand

New life to be enjoyed!

What do you paint, Brian?

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