Posted by: Postordinandy | August 12, 2012

Wrestling with Psalm 23

“The Lord is my shepherd, and I lack nothing”.
But I find it too easy to focus on that nothing,
building it into something of vibrant substance,
a burden that is neither real or mine to carry.
 
“He makes me lie down in green pastures,
he leads me beside quiet waters, he refreshes my soul”.
I am a petulant child, screaming:
“I DON’T WANT TO LAY DOWN!! I’M NOT TIRED!!”
as I force my eyes open by stubborn willpower alone.
I focus on my solely on my thirst, and miss the refreshment offered.
 
“He guides me along the right paths for his name’s sake”.
I snatch the map from His hands,
and convince myself there are better, quicker, easier routes to be found.
I pay no attention to the compass, or the topography,
I want to be in control.
 
“Even though I walk through the darkest valley,
I will fear no evil, for you are with me;
your rod and your staff, they comfort me”.
I walk through the valleys of consumerism, jealousy, real and imagined pain.
I fear everything, except perhaps the things I should.
I pull away from your staff, and flinch from your rod,
I refuse the embrace of the comfort,
wanting instead an instant healing from all that troubles me.
 
“You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies”.
 I waste time and energy looking for alternate feasts,
and when I finally sit down, I fear my enemies, and what I see they have.
 
“You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows”.
I complain at the mess it makes.
 
“Surely your goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life,
and I will dwell in the house of the Lord for ever”.
I am tempted too often to see your goodness and love only in the lives of others,
I recognise only in hindsight that you have chased me with these lavish gifts too.
I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever, I dwell in it now.
I dwell when I understand it, and when I don’t;
When I see it, and when I can’t;
When I deserve it, and otherwise.
 
“The Lord is my shepherd, and I lack nothing”.
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