Wrestling with Psalm 23

“The Lord is my shepherd, and I lack nothing”.
But I find it too easy to focus on that nothing,

building it into something of vibrant substance,

a burden that is neither real or mine to carry.

 

“He makes me lie down in green pastures,
he leads me beside quiet waters, he refreshes my soul”.

I am a petulant child, screaming:

“I DON’T WANT TO LAY DOWN!! I’M NOT TIRED!!”

as I force my eyes open by stubborn willpower alone.

I focus on my solely on my thirst, and miss the refreshment offered.

 

“He guides me along the right paths for his name’s sake”.

I snatch the map from His hands,

and convince myself there are better, quicker, easier routes to be found.

I pay no attention to the compass, or the topography,

I want to be in control.

 

“Even though I walk through the darkest valley,

I will fear no evil, for you are with me;
your rod and your staff, they comfort me”.

I walk through the valleys of consumerism, jealousy, real and imagined pain.

I fear everything, except perhaps the things I should.

I pull away from your staff, and flinch from your rod,

I refuse the embrace of the comfort,

wanting instead an instant healing from all that troubles me.

 

“You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies”.

 I waste time and energy looking for alternate feasts,

and when I finally sit down, I fear my enemies, and what I see they have.

 

“You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows”.

I complain at the mess it makes.

 

“Surely your goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life,
and I will dwell in the house of the Lord for ever”.

I am tempted too often to see your goodness and love only in the lives of others,

I recognise only in hindsight that you have chased me with these lavish gifts too.

I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever, I dwell in it now.

I dwell when I understand it, and when I don’t;

When I see it, and when I can’t;

When I deserve it, and otherwise.

 

“The Lord is my shepherd, and I lack nothing”.